Top this for a speeding ticket...

 Two British traffic patrol officers from North Berwick were involved in
 an unusual incident while checking for speeding motorists on the A1Great
 North Road. One of the officers used a hand-held radar device to check
 the speed of a vehicle approaching over the crest of a hill, and was
 surprised when the speed was recorded at over 300 mph. Their radar
 suddenly stopped working and the officers were not able to reset it.

 Just then a deafening roar over the treetops revealed that the radar had
 in fact latched on to a NATO Tornado fighter jet which was engaged in a
 low-flying exercise over the Border district, approaching from the North
 Sea.

 Back at police headquarters the chief constable fired off a stiff
 complaint to the RAF Liaison office.

 Back came the reply in true laconic RAF style:

 "Thank you for your message, which allows us to complete the file on
 this incident. You may be interested to know that the tactical computer
 in the Tornado had detected the presence of, and subsequently locked
 onto, your hostile radar equipment and automatically sent a jamming
 signal back to it. Furthermore, an air-to-ground missile aboard the
 fully-armed aircraft had also automatically locked onto your equipment.
 Fortunately the pilot flying the Tornado recognized the situation for
 what it was, quickly responded to the missile systems alert status, and
 was able to override the automated defence system before the missile was
 launched and your hostile radar installation was destroyed.

 Good Day..."