A radio station in Australia recently ran a phone-in competition to find
 the most embarrassing moments in listeners' lives. The following are the
 final four place getters: 
  
 4th place 
  
 "While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release
 some pent-up energy and started to run amuck. I was finally able to grab
 hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other
 patrons. 
 I told her that if she didn't start behaving herself right now, she would
 be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice
 just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell
 Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!". The silence
 was deafening, after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped
 what they were doing! I mustered the last of my dignity and walked out of 
 the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing that I heard as the door
 closed behind me were the screams of laughter." 
  
 3rd place 
 
 "It was the day before my 18th birthday. I was living at home, but my
 parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for
 a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the
 telephone ringing downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her
 a piggyback ride to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we
 didn't have time to get dressed.  When we got to the bottom of the stairs,
 the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled,
 "surprise".   My entire family, ... aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins
 and all of my friends were standing there! My girlfriend and I were frozen
 to the spot in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an
 eternity. Since then, no-one in my family has planned a surprise party
 again." 
 
 2nd place 
  
  "A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got
 up to the checkout, she learned that one of the items had no price tag.
 Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the public address
 system and boomed out for all the store to hear. "PRICE CHECK ON LANE 13.
 TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE."   That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the
 store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "Thumbtacks".   In a
 very business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the public address
 system: 
  DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU BELT IN
 WITH A HAMMER?" 
     (fanart on this theme willingly accepted -ed)
     
  
 AND THE WINNER IS! 
  
 This one happened at a major Australian University in October last year.
 In a biology lecture, a professor was discussing the high glucose levels
 found in semen.   A young female freshman, raised her hand and asked, "If
 I understand what  you are saying, there is a lot of glucose in male
 semen, as in sugar?"  "That's correct." responded the professor, going on
 to add some statistical data.  Raising her hand again, the girl asked,
 "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?"  After a stunned silence, the whole
 class burst out laughing, the poor girl  turned bright red and as she
 realised exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather implied), she
 picked up her books, and without a word 
 walked out of the class, and never returned. However, as she was going out
 of the door, the professor's reply was a classic. Totally straight-faced,
 he answered her question, "It doesn't  taste sweet because the taste-buds
 for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not in the back of your
 throat.