Anne  Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet?
     Contestant: Jool carriageway.
 
     Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?
     Contestant: Bombay.
 
     Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?
     Contestant: Crocodiles.
     Robinson: Wh...?
     Contestant (interrupting): Pass!
 
     Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels, travelling
         entertainers or chocolate salesmen?
     Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.
 
     Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were written
         by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...?
     Contestant: (long pause) Joe?
         (to be fair, first thing in my mind was 'duck' -ed)
         
     National Lottery Jet Set, BBC1
     Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the
         initials G.B.S.?
     Contestant: William Shakespeare.
 
     Chris Searle Show, BBC Radio Bristol
     Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
     Caller: Japan.
     Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear
         that, I can let you try again.
     Caller: Er... Mexico?
 
     Family Fortunes, ITV
     1) Something a blind man might use? A Sword
     2) A Song with the word Moon in the title? Blue Suede Moon
     3) Name the Capital of France? F
     4) Name a bird with a long Neck? Naomi Campbell
     5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? A burglar
     6) Where is the Taj Mahal? Opposite the Dental Hospital
     7) What is Hitlers first name? Heil
     8) A famous Scotsman? Jock
     9) Some famous brothers? Bonnie and Clyde.
     10) A dangerous race? The Arabs
     11) Something that floats in a bath? Water
     12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? A horse
     13) Something you wear on a beach ? A deckchair
     14) A famous Royal? Mail
     15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? A bicycle with
         wings
     16) A famous bridge? The Bridge Over Troubled Waters
     17) Something a cat does? Goes to the Toilet
     18) Something you do in the bathroom ? Decorate
     19) A method of securing your home? Put the kettle on
     20) Something associated with pigs? The Police
     21) A sign of the Zodiac? April
     22) Something people might be allergic to? Skiing
     23) Something you do before you go to bed? Sleep
     24) Something you put on walls? A roof
     25) Something Slippery? A conman
     26) A kind of ache? A fillet of fish
     27) A Jacket Potato topping? Jam
     28) A food that can be brown or white? A potato
     29) Something sold by gypsies? Bananas
     30) Something Red? My sweater
 
     The Afternoon Programme Quiz, ABC 774
     Presenter: Who killed Cock Robin?
     Contestant: Oh God, I didn't even know he was dead.
 
     Lincs FM phone-in
     Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
     Contestant: Barcelona.
     Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
     Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in
         Spain.
 
     Steve Wright Show, Radio 2
     Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube?
     Contestant: India.
 
     Wright: The leader of the orchestra  plays which musical instrument?
     Contestant: The baton.
 
     Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway?
     Contestant: Expresso.
 
     Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney.
     Contestant: Sydney.
 
     Wright: What was the animal referred to in Val Doonican's song Paddy
         McGinty's?
     Contestant: I don't know.
     Wright: It begins with a "G".
     Contestant: Cow.
 
     This Morning, ITV
     Judy Finnegan: The American TV show 'The  Sopranos' is about opera.
         True or false?
     Contestant: True?
     Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an American TV
         show, so I'll give you that.
 
     BBC Radio Newcastle
     Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel
         last?
     Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.
 
     Bob Hope Birthday Quiz, LBC
     Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons?
     Contestant: Four.
 
     BBC GMR, Phil Wood Show
     Wood: What "K" could be described as the Islamic Bible?
     Contestant: Er...
     Wood:  It's got two syllables... Kor...
     Contestant: Blimey?
     Wood:  Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run...
     Contestant: (Silence)
     Wood:  OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I...
     Contestant: Walked?
 
     Daryl's Drivetime, Virgin Radio
     Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
     Contestant: Holland?
     Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
     Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
     Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
     Contestant: No.