-----Original Message-----
From: Karl
To: Joe 
Subject: RE: oops


Mondays shouild be illegal.

-----Original Message-----
From: Joe
To: 
Subject: RE: oops


as it turns out, milord froogle of macedonia did indeed ban mondays after
one particulaly fateful one in the mid 11th century. he arose early to find
that his 35th concubine, betsy, 94, had departed their chamber. he robed and
left looking for her, propping up his eager whanger with a room service
trolly. wheeling through the castle, he espied items of his concubines
frilly pink(1) negligee/baby romper suit(2) strewn about the place. he
almost had cause to slip off the trolley when he spotted her custom build
'nappy for adult pervos'(TM) hanging from the main chandalier in the great
hall. historians are unclear on exactly what happened next, though most
agree that milord froogle had disturbed his concubine in a lewd act. some
scholars tell that she was chained upside down by her ankles from the same
chandalier. others attest that the lords faithful dunnykinder,
scunthorpe(3), 17, was mounted on the lords prized war horse in the middle
of the hall. betsy was alleged to have removed her plaster teeth and was
chowing down on the horse with gusto(4), while scunthorpe was tending to her
mid section with his no.3 dunnykinding sprocket. the screaming, belching and
farting released by milord froogle was said to have been heard 4 counties
away and measured 6.8 on the richter scale. the great spurne river of
peckham was told to flow backwards for some 3 hours under the pressure wave
emitted. once the forbidden eroticism of the scene sank in, froogle
immediately cracked one of as he was otherwise unable to move, his member
having grown as to prevent him from exiting the door. sadly, this impromptu
action landed a wad of wap into the war horses eye which bucked and reared,
trying to spy the seagull responsible. betsy, being chained and under
gravity was unable to move as the horse fought and scunthorpe clung on for
dear life. the next couple of minutes were a confused scene, leaving betsy
dead from suffocation and loss of blood from wounds sustained from the
dunnykinders sprocket. the lords doctors spent 3 days removing the sprocket
from her insides and removed 13fl.oz of horse fluid from her nose and throat
cavity. lord froogle, aghast at the loss of his favourite concubine ordered
that the dunnykinder be removed and eaten alive by the war horse, over a
period of several weeks. there it would have ended, if it were not for the
sketches and paintings by augusto the 'i just get these headaches' which
soon appeared on the black market. they were of a dubious origin, though
they were sold as being genuinely pained at the scene(5). the ritual and
public humiliation was too great for milord froogle to bear and he issued a
decree that mondays were to be forever banned, upon pain of being hung
upside down and publicly suffocated by a horse, in much the same way as his
betsy(6). interestingly enough, this decree was never repealed and is still
in force today, so be careful who you celebrate your mondays with.

(1) washing the whites seperate was not yet in vouge 
(2) see 'the depravity of lord froogle'; letch, anthony; the vatican smutty
press
(3) a _really_ slimy piece of work
(4) and a little mustard
(5) police investigation later found that augusto was 175 miles away at the
time, smashed on opium
(6) the sprocket was kept in as an option for serious offences

strange but true

joe