A good looking man walked into an agent's office in Hollywood and said,
"I want to be a movie star." 
 
Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he had all the right
credentials.The agent asked, "What's your name?"  The guy said, "My name
is Penis van Lesbian."
 
The agent said, "Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into
Hollywood, you are gonna have to change your name.".
 
"I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old, I
will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever!"  The
agent said, "Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years... you will
NEVER go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian! I'm telling
you, you will HAVE TO change your name or I will not be able to
represent you."
 
"So be it! I guess we will not do business together." the guy said and
he left the agent's office.  

FIVE YEARS LATER.....The agent opened an envelope sent to his office.
Inside the envelope was a letter and a cheque for $50,000. 

The agent was awestruck.. who would possibly send him $50,000? He read
the letter enclosed:
 
"Dear Sir,
Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor in
Hollywood.  You told me I needed to change my name. Determined to make
it with my God-given birth name, I refused. You told me I would never
make it in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian. After I left
your office, I thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I
had to change my name. I had too much pride to return to your of office,
so I signed with another agent.  I would never have made it without
changing my name, so the enclosed cheque is a token of my appreciation.
 
Thank you for your advice.
 
Sincerely,
Dick van Dyke