INDIAN CURRY RHAPSODY (to the tune Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen) 
   Naan, just killed a man 
   Pappadom against his head 
   Had lime pickle now he's dead. 
   Naan, dinner's just begun 
   But now I'm gonna throw it all away. 
   Naan, ooh, ooh Didn't mean to make you cry 
   If I'm not back from the loo this time tomorrow 
   Curry on, curry on 
   Cause nothing really Madras 
   Too late, my dinner's gone 
   Sends shivers down my spine 
   Bottom aching all the time 
   Goodbye onion bhaji, I've got to go 
   Gotta leave you all behind and use the loo 
   Naan, ooh, ooh 
   This dupiaza is so mild 
   I sometimes wish we'd never come here at all.... [guitar 
   solo] 
   I see a little chicken tikka on the side 
   Rogan Josh, Rogan Josh, pass the chutney made of mango 
   Vindaloo does nicely, very very spicy 
   Meat! 
   Byriani (Byriani) 
   Byriani (Byriani) 
   Byriani and a naan 
   A vindaloo ..loo.. loo.. loo 
   I've eaten balti, somebody help me 
   He's eaten balti, get him to the lavatory 
   Stand you well back 
   'Case the loo is quarantined... 
   Here it comes 
   There it goes 
   Technicolor yawn 
   I chunder 
   No! 
   It's coming up again (There he goes) 
   I chunder, it's coming back again (There he goes) 
   Coming back again (up again) 
   Here it comes again. 
   (No no no no no no NO) 
   On my knees, I'm on my knees 
   On his knees, Oh, there he goes 
   This vindaloo is about to wreck my guts 
   Poor meee.. poor meeee...poor MEEEEEE! [guitar solo] 
   So you think you can chunder and then feel alright? 
   So you try to eat curry and drink beer all night? 
   Oh maybe, but now you'll puke like a baby 
   Just had to come out 
   It just had to come right out in here. ... [guitar solo]  
   Korma or dupiaza 
   bhaji, naan or saag 
   Nothing makes a difference 
   Nothing makes a difference 
   To meee.... (anyway the wind blows....shshshsh)