If you have time read some of the following. they are cyber conversations 
 that some guy posted on a football website. they are funny as f@ck!!
 
 
 bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
 BritneySpears14: Aight.
 bloodninja: slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
 BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
 bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
 BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
 bloodninja: Me too baby.
 BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
 bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
 BritneySpears14: Hey...
 bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of
 the Infinite.
 BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
 bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the
 Beyondness.
 BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
 bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the 
 lands.
 bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body 
 explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
 BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
 bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield 
 inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
 bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's
 evil 
 army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my 
 accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
 bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
 bloodninja: Baby?
 
 
 
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 bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it 
 ready for you.
 j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
 bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
 j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
 j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
 bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my
 breeding territory.
 j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
 j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
 bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
 j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the
 game.
 bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
 j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
 bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to 
 charge your ass.
 bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
 j_gurli3: thats it.
 bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic 
 symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide 
 and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in
  the air on my mighty horn.
 bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.
 
 
 
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 BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
 eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
 BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
 eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
 BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
 BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular 
 physique.
 eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
 BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
 eminemBNJA: Oh ****
 BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your 
 ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
 eminemBNJA: Oh ****
 eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something
 
 
 
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 Bloodninja:Wanna cyber?
 DirtyKate:OK, but don't tell anybody
 DirtyKate:Who are you?
 Bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
 Bloodninja:And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo
 
 Storm.
 DirtyKate:You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
 Bloodninja:Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make
 an order
 DirtyKate: Haha! OK
 DirtyKate:Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with 
 sauce.
 Bloodninja:Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how
 may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your
 order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
 DirtyKate:I want everything, baby!
 Bloodninja:Is this a delivery?
 DirtyKate:Umm...Yes
 DirtyKate:So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home 
 alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
 Bloodninja:Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll
 drive to your house.
 **pause**
 DirtyKate:I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
 Bloodninja:You can't hurry good pizza.
 Bloodninja:I'm on my way now though
 **pause**
 DirtyKate:So you're at my front door now.
 Bloodninja:How did you know?
 Bloodninja:I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I 
 let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
 Bloodninja:Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
 DirtyKate:Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. 
 Warm me up baby
 Bloodninja:So you're still in the bathroom?
 DirtyKate:Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
 Bloodninja:I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my 
 pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in 
 ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is 
 deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the
 bathroom, 
 I exit through the front door....
 DirtyKate:What the f**k?
 DirtyKate:You perverted piece of s**t
 DirtyKate:F**k
 
 
 
 ------------------------------------------------------------ 
 --------------------
 Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
 Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high
 heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements
 are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
 Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on
 a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also
 wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from
 dinner...it smells funny.
 Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me?
 Wellhung: OK
 Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the
 stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into
 your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and
 begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.
 Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.
 Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
 Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling.
 Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.
 Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.
 Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk
 slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and
 rubbing.
 Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a
 hole in your blouse.I'm sorry.
 Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.
 Wellhung: I'll pay for it.
 Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra.My soft
 breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.
 Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck.
 Do you have any scissors?
 Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.I'm reaching back
 undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my
 breasts. My nipples are erect for you.
 Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting
 the clasp.
 Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your
 tongue all over me.
 Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know,
 breasts. They're neat!
 Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm
 nibbling your ear.
 Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and
 phlegm.
 Sweetheart: What?
 Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.
 Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of
 my blouse.
 Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with
 a plop.
 Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your
 hard tool.
 Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!
 Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.
 Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over,
 in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.
 Sweetheart: What's the matter?
 Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.
 Sweetheart: Are you OK?
 Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.
 Sweetheart: Can I help?
 Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling
 through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?
 Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.
 Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.
 Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.
 Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.
 Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.
 Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet.
 And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost.
 Where's the bedroom?
 Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
 Wellhung: I found it.
 Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so
 badly.
 Wellhung: Me too.
 Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked
 bodies pressing each other.
 Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.
 Sweetheart Why don't you take off your glasses?
 Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the
 glasses on the night table.
 Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!
 Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room
 and toward the bathroom.
 Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.
 Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for
 the toilet. I lift the lid.
 Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.
 Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle,
 but I can't find it. Uh-oh!
 Sweetheart: What's the matter now?
 Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper.
 Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my
 way.
 Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.
 Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in
 your...you know...woman's thing.
 Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!
 Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss
 your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.
 Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand
 it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!
 Wellhung: I'm flaccid.
 Sweetheart: What?
 Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.
 Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look
 on my face.
 Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all
 floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.
 Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my
 underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.
 Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table.
 I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray,
 picture frames and your candles.
 Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.
 Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of
 our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing
 at it, a shocked look on my face.
 Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!
 Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!
 Sweetheart: