Customer: Worcester sauce please mate... 
 
 Shop Keeper: Sorry can't, it's off the shelves, cancer scare. 
 
 C: oh right, uh Chinese Chicken Wings? 
 
 S: Ah that's the same mate, cancer scare 
 
 C: Hamburger Relish? 
 
 S: Cancer scare 
 
 C: Sausage and Mash? 
 
 S: Cancer scare 
 
 C: Cottage Pie? 
 
 S: Aye, ...no wait, cancer scare. 
 
 C: So they're all off the shelves because of a cancer scare? 
 
 S: Yup. 
 
 C: Jaysus, that's mad, just give me a packet of fags then. 
 
 S: No bother.  Six quid please. 
 
 C: Thanks