At a press conference today, Theresa Heinz Kerry, wife of Democratic
 Presidential nominee John Kerry, announced that she's going to be on
 the campaign trail with her husband!
 
 "To prepare myself," she said, "I have shaved off all my pubic hair.
 From now until the election, I shall sit on the stage with John, and may
 occasionally flash my legs apart without wearing any panties. This
 will send a STRONG MESSAGE TO AMERICA! "
 
 "Just what is that message, Mrs. Kerry?" gasped the astonished
 reporters at the news of this rather startling announcement.
 
 To which Teresa replied, "READ MY LIPS, NO MORE BUSH!"