[name removed] I understand that you are [name removed]'s line manager.
 I'm afraid that I have a complaint to make re her capacity as health &
 safety inspector. She has never at any point offered to inspect my
 testicles despite my repeated requests.
 
 I understand that testicles can be very dangerous: I am worried that they
 could suddenly explode, at an inconvenient or embarrassing moment,
 inconveniencing passers by. 
 
 I trust that you will remedy this lamentable lack of zeal on [name
 removed]'s part, and can state unequivocally that I can be available for
 inspection at a moments notice.
 
 PS If I pass does she have to append a sticker?