This is a copy of a letter sent to B & Q from a customer
 this week:-

 Dear Sir/Madam

 My congratulations to you on getting a yacht to leave the UK
 on 28th
 November 2004, sail 27,354 miles around the world and arrive
 back 72
 days later.

 Could you please let me know when the kitchen I ordered 96
 days ago
 will be arriving from your warehouse 13 miles away?

 Yours Sincerley
 Lee Spokes